Johnny: "I Felt Like Giving Up"
When we began discussing print ad ideas, Alyson brought up the concept of "Fab Things First." The idea is that the first thing you put on is the most fabulous—your shoes!—and match the rest of your outfit to them. Sandra loves to see multiple options before deciding on one idea, but Alyson was already set on this fab things/nude concept. I got stuck in the middle when it came to designing the conceptsl—I had to satisfy my direct boss and my boss' boss.
Shortly after that, Lianca told me that Sandra and Alyson were hiring a senior designer. My first thought was, "Really, Alyson?!" I had no idea that they were looking for a new designer at all, which sucked since it would be someone above me. I didn't want to be promoted anyway—I just wanted to be in the loop. That's what hurt the most, knowing that Alyson was looking for new designer behind my back. I took it personally, because I considered Alyson to be a friend. It was hard to be friends with your boss and have this happen to you. I understand it was all for business, but it's difficult to not take something like that personally.
When I heard that Hamsa was the new hire, I was literally like, "What the who?! Who or what is Hamsa? Is that a software upgrade or my new boss?" I felt like giving up. I didn't want to go to work knowing that I had failed so much already that they needed to hire someone above me. I took it as a sign that maybe this wasn't the job for me if they kept hiring people above me who weren't fabulous, fun or outgoing. I was definitely at a point where I needed to re-evaluate my goals and where I wanted to be in life—maybe graphic design wasn't my calling.
I started by clearing off my desk. When I looked at my co-worker Jillian's desk, I noticed that it was super boring and stale. I thought if I mimicked that, I would be considered more reliable and people around me would take me more seriously, especially since Rose and Jillian just got promoted. But in the end, I looked at Kimora as a true inspiration of fabulosity and kept my desk as true to me (and fabulosity!) as possible.
That's why I love helping out in as many ways as I can, especially when it's for Kimora. I'm literally at my desk behind a computer for eight to nine hours every day, so having a chance to do something like fit modeling for a new pair of jeans is something I'm totes down for. It's a good break for me, and I'm able to stretch my legs and strut around the office in some fierce denim. Werk! I didn't think the 26" I tried on in front of Kimora would be too big on me, because that's the size I usually wear! What I've learned from Kimora is to go a size down in demim so I can stretch them out over time.
But then it was back to my desk, and I finally got to meet Hamsa. My first impression? 100% not fabulous. I was hoping that I would at least have a fabulous new boss, but nope! That dreamed clearly got swept away.
However, after working with Hamsa for the past few months, I actually have a lot of respect for her and consider her a true art director. She has a lot of experience, and I've got mad respect for her for helping me to grow as a designer.